Last week, I was running with a new friend and she asked me how long I'd been living in New York. After doing some thinking I realized that it was actually my 2 year anniversary, to the day. I've been so busy hustling this little horse and pony show that I forgot that two years had flown by.
Moving to New York was terrifying. I always knew I wanted to live in this city but I was too afraid to make it happen. It took a year, 2 half marathons and 1 full marathon to muster the courage to take a chance on myself. It wasn't easy picking my life up and moving away from my family to one of the craziest (and most expensive) cities in the world (without a career path).
Every step of the last two years has been terrifying. I don't think a lot of people realize this because I'm so open but much of what I share with you was a guarded secret for most of my life. I didn't like sharing the things I once believed made me weak and vulnerable. I thought I was in control of how people perceived me and in turn I put on a very intimidating and strong facade. And unfortunately, my history with my weight has been something I felt ashamed of for many, many, many years. But life's messy and it's so much easier to let my guard down and be authentic and vulnerable in the hopes that someone else will find the courage to do so as well. I'm not perfect and I really don't have any intention of pretending I am.
It's been a really reflective week for me. My 26th birthday is on Saturday and it's a little overwhelming to think about all the things that have happened in the past year. Last year on my birthday I wrote about how I didn't think anything could ever top my 24th year. But somehow my 25th year surpassed 24th by a long shot and I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being apart of this crazy ride. Thank you for writing to me and being so open and vulnerable about your own lives. Thank you for standing with me while I've navigated the unknown and tried to figure out how to find myself. (I'm still searching in case you were wondering. I have a feeling it's a never ending search.) I wish there was a button I could push to make everything slow down. It's all happening really, really fast.
It's been a wild and wacky ride thus far and one week from today I will be in Germany getting ready to run the Berlin Marathon. I haven't processed how I feel about it just yet but it's a cross between terrified and excited. Thanks again for being apart of my life, here's to another exhausting and exhilarating year. Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.