To My Younger Self: ’Vivir con miedo, es como vivir a media // Living With Fear, It's Living Half-Heartedly
To my younger self:
’Vivir con miedo, es como vivir a media.
The first things that I want to say to you is: -
You are strong.
You are independent.
You are beautiful.
Right now, I know these words are the worst thing that you want to hear and you wouldn’t truly believe them if you said them. I know that you absolutely hate yourself, everyone and everything in the world. It feels like you are swimming in a barrel of tar and you have no fight left in you.
You are terrified of who you are and what you are feeling, and living in fear. You think that you aren’t worth it and that somehow, you are a failure. That drink induced, self-harming black hole you are in feels like the answer but it isn’t. Just when you believe that there is no more light left in the world for you…and you’re ready to check out, you watch a film and hear this line…..
‘’Vivir con miedo, es como vivir a medias.’’ Living with fear, it’s living half-heartedly.
This line will make so much sense to you and hit a chord. Things begin to change, you move location and change schools. And although this is still a difficult time, it is the start of things to come. You attend college, and excel in this environment and move on to university…..another possibility that you don’t think is within your grasp.
You will meet an amazing group of friends and you will fall in love for the first time. This person will allow you to accept who you are and finally, you can breathe! You start to experience life as other people seem to experience it, happily. After university, you travel and have an amazing time. Along the way you meet many amazing people that will help shape the person you will become.
If there is one piece of advice I could give you right now, is dare to dream big, dare to live the life that you have always wanted. Life will always be challenging and it never stops you know the learning about yourself but if there is one thing I want to tell you is believe in yourself and accept who you are because once you do...
You will start living a life without fear...and can I tell you it will and does feel AMAZING.