The 10 Stages of New Year's Resolution
It's that time of the year again! People all over the United States are getting ready to make incredibly lofty goals that they almost immediately forget about. Now don't get me wrong, I love a New Year's Resolution! But New Year's Resolutions are like a bad car wreck! You don't see it coming and you can't look away! And then you're left with a huge bill and a headache. These are the 10 stages of making a New Year's Resolution --
10. Slight possible intoxication.
9 times out of 10 I make my New Year's Resolutions after enjoying a few craft beers or some Chardonnay. (No? Just me?) There's no better way to set an intimidating or a lofty goal than by wrapping yourself in a warm blanket of intoxication and liquid courage. (And a drunk New Year's Resolution is rarely taken seriously so there's your "get out of jail free" card should you need it.)
9. The Facebook Status Update.
Does a New Year's Resolution even count if you don't announce it on social media? (Yes. Yes it does.) Why wouldn't you want to proclaim your crazy New Year's Resolution to your friends, coworkers and strangers from High School that you haven't spoken to in years? Hold yourself accountable and announce that you intend to learn a new language, lose 10 pounds or climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Please don't rob your online friends of the opportunity to make sweet jokes at your expense. (Or support you. I guess it could go either way.)
8. The Group Text.
After that status update goes live, text all your buddies! Bonus points if you can convince someone else to join you on your New Year's Resolution quest! (I'm actually being serious. There's strength in numbers. If you want to start running, grab a friend and register for a race together.)
7. The Shopping Trip.
No fitness inspired New Year's Resolution is complete without a new somethin' somethin' to workout in! Maybe treat yourself to some new shoes, a supportive sports bra or a flashy gym membership! There's no way you'll ever regret spending lots of money on workout clothes! Yoga pants are the new skinny jean! TREAT YOURSELF TO SOME LULULEMON!
6. The Purge.
December 31st isn't just 'National Day Before National Hangover Day', it's a day to consume all the delicious food and alcohol you won't be allowed to have when you begin your, "New Year New You New Year's Resolution!" So think of it like your last hurrah or an opportunity to get all the bad stuff out of your system before you start anew the following day.
5. The Realization.
Then you wake up on January 1st confused about who you are and what you've resolved to do. Is that the hangover or your New Year's Resolution setting in? Maybe it's both! Either way, it feels like a tidal wave of fear, regret, and nausea. (OK that last part is probably just the hangover but who knows! I wanted to throw up after I registered for my first marathon!) Just go get a burrito! New Year's Resolutions don't ACTUALLY start until January 2nd anyways. Everyone knows that! Give yourself a buffer! Set yourself up for success!
4. The First Attempt.
Your first attempt is often your first taste of impossible! But don't sweat! (Well...you're going to sweat. I meant that in a "never fear" kind of way...) There's this beautiful website called Pinterest and on said website, you can find all sorts of inspirational quotes like, "Today's impossible is tomorrow's normal" and "This was your idea. Suck it up it's only day 1 you dummy." Go find some inspirational quotes to pin to your beautiful and inspiring Pinterest board, dig deep and keep with it. A good rule of thumb is to set one big goal, smaller weekly goals and then one daily goal. Sounds like a lot of goals right? It is. New Year, busy and slightly OCD you! (That's what works for me. I'm not a doctor or a Scientologist. I don't know everything.)
3. The Set Back.
The Holidays are officially a distant memory and your life is back to normal. Right when you think you're finally able to dedicate yourself to your New Year's Resolution, in walks Winter. How are you supposed to motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning when it's so damn cold? I don't expect you to! It's cold man! And treadmills are basically hell on earth!
No one said New Year's Resolutions needed to happen right in the beginning of the New year! You have a full 12 months to make them a reality! Why not wait until Spring to get started?
And in a blink of an eye, an entire year flies by. How did your New Year's Resolution go? Yeah...we've all been there. Hey, there is always next year!
Here are my two cents on New Year's Resolutions, if you're someone who needs the added excitement to tackle a huge goal (I am), ride that New Year's resolution wave. But there's nothing wrong with setting different goals throughout the year!
Make it personal and then make it possible. All you have to do is care enough to try and believe in yourself. You have to believe in yourself. I know I do.
Make yourself proud. Go kickass.