The Beer Mile

Have you ever heard of THE BEER MILE? NO!?!?! What?!?!? OK here's how it works -- Basically you gather on a track and try to run a mile as fast as you can. The catch? You have to drink 4 beers in the process. Now running a mile as fast as I can does not sound like something I would ever care to do but drinking delicious beer after I run is something I love to do so I thought, "I bet I would LOVE drinking beer while I run!" And drinking a beer during the Airbnb Brooklyn Half Marathon went so well that I had to give it a go --

So the way the beer mile works you pound a beer and run a lap. Pound a second beer and run a second lap. Pound a third beer and run a third lap. Finally pound your final beer and run your final lap. Sound like a good time? IT IS! Many have tried, LANCE MOTHER EFFING ARMSTRONG failed. I've always wanted to do it and last night I finally got my chance.

Last night's beer mile was organized by one of the running teams here in the City. My friend Chloe invited me and I tried to bail 4 times. I finally acquiesced and by the time I got to the track, the girls were just completing their heat. I looked to Chloe and said to her, "I don't think I want to do this. Oh wait, they're done? Oh well maybe next time!" She turned to someone and said, "This is my friend Kelly. She's late so she's gonna join the guy's heat." And that was that. 

The first men's heat was HILARIOUS and FAST. I think the fastest time was around the seven minute mark. I can't run a 7 minute mile if I tried. 

Next was our turn...We placed our beers on the side of the track, had the rules explained to us and then we were off. 

Before I took off for the track I was trying to figure out what beer was a good beer for the beer mile. Normally I'm an IPA kind of girl but IPA sounded like regret. The guy who holds the beer mile record said not to buy crappy beer so I opted for a Sixpoint Pale Ale. (A MARVELOUS CHOICE. I love Sixpoint and there wasn't one sip of regret throughout the entire mile.)

 My ONLY goal was not to finish last...OK that's a lie, my other goal was not to puke. I HATE throwing up and I really wasn't keen on throwing up in front of a bunch of strangers. (ESPECIALLY if I was in last place.) I was joined by one other girl in our heat and she goes, 'What's your fastest beer mile?" I was like, "Oh this is my first. What about you?" She told me 10 minutes and I almost passed out. She looked like she could clock a 6 minute mile in her sleep and here she was with a beer mile best time of 10 minutes! Because I'm a competitive monster I thought, "I can go faster than 10 minutes" and we took off. 

Lap 1 was a breeze. I've never really time trialed my mile before so I didn't really know what I was doing. I decided to hug the outside lanes and eat the extra distance so people who were running for time could blaze past me. (And blaze past me they did.) 

Lap 2 I had that moment of "I'M NOT EVEN HALFWAY THERE" and I looked at my watch to check how I was doing and realized I forgot to start my watch. So I enjoyed my beer (thank god I opted for a delicious Sixpoint ale) and took off cackling like a wild woman, cracking jokes to all the boys I passed. (And by all the boys I mean the two boys.) 

Lap 3 I started getting real competitive. Drinking that third beer was not fun. But just look at that face, that's a game face ladies and gentlemen. No funny business here. 

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Lap 4 I don't even remember because it happened to fast. There's a rule that if you puke you have to do an extra lap so every minute or so someone would go blazing past me making a joke about how they puked and were on lap 5 and I needed to pick it up. Then I kicked it into turbo action and tore across the finish like a boss. 

(This is right before the kick, I promise.) 

The beer mile is just as much fun as it looks. I have to find out what my time was but I'm pretty certain it's under an hour. (Just kidding I did 10:39:2 but I forgot to give my sticker after I finished so I'm guessing the time was more like 10:29...either way, totally fun. No regrets.) 

I want to do it again but during the day. I will say the beer mile provided the most perfect level of drunk I've ever experienced so now I know the next time I want to go out, run a beer mile and then stick to water for the rest of the night. 

Have you ever done the beer mile? What were your thoughts?

Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.