What The Hell Happened During The London Marathon

I don't know where to start.

And while I figure out what to say, I'm just going to take this opportunity to say thank you.

Thank you for your support, your words of wisdom and guidance, and for sharing your stories with me so vulnerably over the past year. 

I have so many thoughts swimming around in my head and whenever someone asks me how I'm feeling, I can't bring myself to say anything besides disappointed. I'm really, really disappointed and I know that I shouldn't be, but I'll explain soon. Until then, I'm giving myself permission to feel whatever it is that I'm feeling. 

Thank you for joining me on this wild ride. Thank you for setting huge, impossible goals alongside me.

I'm not giving up on this impossible goal just yet. Just taking some time to brush myself off, tend to my heart, and pull myself out of this funk. 

It wasn't the race I wanted but I think London was absolutely the race I needed. 

It was really hard to get to a place where I was brave enough to admit how badly I wanted to qualify for the Boston Marathon. I've never ran with the strength and confidence I have right now. And to have it all derailed because of a tiny injury is heartbreaking. 

I let my entire experience go to shit because I felt embarrassed that I disappointed you all. It took me 20 miles to find this smile. 

We'll talk as soon as I'm ready to get really real about what the hell happened. If I were to do it now, I don't think I'd be able to do my heart ache justice. BUT, I am proud of the day. I'm amazed that I didn't quit and walk off the course. That was a huge win. 

And this happened so...it wasn't a bust.

Kelly + Prince Harry Forever.